I'm officiating a wedding
I am busy officiating a wedding this week! I have never done this before.
I got "ordained" in the state of California using American Marriage Ministries, a website which offers ordination in the US so that people can marry one another without having to find a real or fake religion to actually certify them. I do remember the days when people discussed getting ordained by the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster in order to wed their friends, but now you can just do it in one click via the AMM website, for free, so that's great. I had some fun reading the wikipedia page for "ordination mill" as a result of all this.
The wedding is forest-themed. As the officiant, I am going to wear a green suit, a floral button-down, and reddish-brown shoes. I was desperately trying to find a pair of ordinary flat women's brown shoes to wear with the suit, and I spent a frantic two hours in the mall a few weekends ago slowly realizing that buying a regular fucking pair of understated shoes is so much harder than it needs to be, for some reason. Always I am discovering that buying an "understated but not frumpy" version of something is harder than it needs to be. It was fully impossible for me to buy some brown flats that did not have a giant gold plastic brand logo on the front of them. Deranged.
In the end, I bought men's shoes. I gotta say: if you are at your wits' end, buy the damn men's shoes. I got slip-on formal shoes that look almost exactly like women's slides. People will be able to tell that these are men's shoes, but from a distance, nobody will notice or care, and I don't care either. I think they look great.
Final note: writing an officiant's sermon/speech is very difficult! I was selected for this role partially thanks to my friends' familiarity with my writing and public speaking, and boy howdy, this is much harder than anything else I have had to write. The stakes are real! Videogames are fake, but getting married is real!!